kgautreaux/blog

An ocean of noise

I've Got to Start Writing This Down

babyb

You’ll have to forgive me. I’ve recently fallen prey to an overwhelming urge to document the events surrounding Shaleah’s pregnancy. I suspect there is at least an 80% chance that our offspring won’t care at all what their parents lives were like before they arrived. I’m not harboring illusions about that. But I believe that eventually they might be very interested in the parts of their lives that they can’t remember. Childhood memories are a funny thing. I seem to have very few compared to most people I talk to. I’m not sure why that is. Probably it’s because my childhood was relatively idyllic and filled mostly with endless days of imagining myself to be a famous fighter pilot.

The impetus for this explosion of verbosity, and what I hope to make my habit of writing down what I see, feel, and think, was this post. Something like that is what I aspire to with this, and even if it only ends up as a treasure map for a trip down memory lane thirty years hence I will have succeeded beyond expectations.

Hi there. Thanks for coming, but this is not here for you. Feel free to read it. I’d be happy if you got a chuckle or a smile from the things that go here, but this is here for me. This is here to remind me of what it felt like at the time. I need an anchor for things that I want to remember because my memory is fallible.

Address to future me

Isn’t this fun? How does scrolling work in your time? Right now we are all struggling with the transition from scrolling in Mac OS X Snow Leopard to scrolling in Mac OS X Lion. Good times. How is the debt ceiling in your time? Have they abolished it? Does it function in any capacity? We’re struggling with that now too, but isn’t it funny that I mentioned trackpad scrolling in an operating system before the debt ceiling debacle. Remember priorities?

I suppose you are probably pretty busy with taking care of the twins. What are they like? The future is such a mystery from back here. Remember when you and Shaleah drove to Arnold, NE to celebrate your 5th wedding anniversary? Those were incredibly happy times. You worked too much but you probably remember that. As soon as I stop typing the future starts to bloom.

Currently we are in the midst of a significant heat wave. What is the climate like in your time? I have a guess, but it is too scary for me to think about for very long. I suspect that’s a lot of how we make it from day to day. It’s kind of funny how much we worry about specific humans, but how little we fear for humanity. It seems we talk a significant amount about our fears for humanity, but we are hamstrung by our persistence on the present. One reason I’m asking you so many questions.

We just finished reading Cormac McCarthy in book club and it is impossible not to consider the hypothetical situation that you and your immature, or even highly theoretical, offspring might face were you one day to wake up at the end of humanity. Past performance is not a guarantee of future results as they say.

Until next time.